Donald Trump is a middle-aged comedian. With nothing to lose.

Donald Trump is a middle-aged comedian. With nothing to lose.

Donald Drumpf is NOT a middle-aged comedian, of course. A middle-aged comedian is worthy of respect. I’m merely projecting my own traits onto him. The point is, I’ve noticed that if you want to know who Donald Drumpf IS, all you have to do is look at the traits he projects onto others. It’s a fun little game, and it gets better each day. For example, Donald Drumpf is:

  • crooked
  • mentally ill
  • a liar
  • thinks of African-Americans only as votes, not people
  • unfair
  • weak
  • a disaster
  • he worst thing that’s ever happened to America
  • dangerous…

But there’s more.

TrumpTerAs Drumpf has “evolved” this past week – from obnoxious extemporaneous orator to obnoxious TelePrompTer reader – he’s added another level of insult to injury. “Addressing” African-Americans, Drumpf paints a bleak picture: they’re broke, jobless, homeless, uneducated and living in squalor, in a war zone. As such, “Take a chance on Drumpf!” he bellows in desperation. “What the hell have you got to lose???” Let’s zipline past the laughable, amateur-hour authoritarianism, and the fact that he always sells despair and fear (in fact, his new slogan shouldn’t be the alt-right ‘America First’; it should be ‘Fear Uber Alles’). The (raw) meat here is that, as usual, Drumpf is talking about himself.

“What?!?”, you ask incredulously? “Hersh, now you’re pushing it! Drumpf is a billionaire!” Oh, really. You know who’s a billionaire? Mark Cuban, Bill Gates, Michael Bloomberg, Steven Spielberg. Can Drumpf hang with these dudes? In fact, another fun game to play is to see if Drumpf actually has ANY friends who are billionaires. Sheldon Adelson – the notorious Republican kingmaker – won’t give him a dime. If you’ve watched FOX News lately, it is clear that Rupert Murdoch isn’t any kind of fan. Warren Buffett offered to disclose his taxes if Lil Donnie will show his; no dice. In fact, with a net worth of $400 million, I’m pretty sure JIMMY Buffett has more money than Donald Drumpf.

TrumpBorrowDonald Drumpf ran for President, not only because he needs the attention: he needs leverage. He doesn’t want the office, just the bennies. He needs to pay off (read: forgive) his debt to the Bank of China (he says they’re a tenant, but HE’s the deadbeat squatter). All told, he’s into Goldman Sachs, and worse, Russia (if you’ve watched “Ray Donovan”, you know to stay away from “The Russians”) and others for nearly $1B. So he needs a huge scam to get out of hock. And, of course, it’s not the first time this melon-head has had his over-ripe mug in a vice. For a NY con man, this situation is not uncommon; but for a Presidential candidate, it’s new, and in the context of the kind of Kardashio-Jennerized voyeurism to which we’ve grown accustomed, it’s gripping Television. But even if it seems like make believe, it’s real. The wolves are at the door. And not just the creditors.

TrumpThumbsUpFrom Christie, Manafort, Kellyanne Conway and Steve Bannon, to that jobless predator Ailes and the madcap grotesque that is Rudy Giuliani, Drumpf’s orbit is a rogue’s gallery of opportunists feeding on the imminent remains of The Donald. Following in the footsteps of their pops, the elder Drumpf kids have each made a grab for the brand spotlight in hopes of leasing out their family name in a nickel-and-dime hustle that would make their racist slumlord grandpa proud. The rest – Pence, Ryan, McConnell, Priebus, McCain – hover like by-standing vultures, waiting for Drumpf to collapse. They pretend to have “a line” that hasn’t quite been crossed, but everyone knows they dived face-ass down into this debacle with their power-hungry eyes wide open. Regardless, the take-away is that Drumpf has lived his life feeding his own void and doesn’t have a friend in the world.

chickens-vultures-coming-home-to-roostThe HOPE, and I use that word loosely, is that all these ghouls can gather together and launch a media empire funded by the fearful nationalist following that makes up Drumpf’s base. And they will. But by pandering to the lowest-hanging fruit, this crew has already exhausted the patience of the broader audience. Remember, most of Drumpf’s initial supporters weren’t racists: they wanted change, they feared for America and its prospects and responded to the fear-mongering that always results in conservatism and xenophobia. Once they realize Drumpf is no real agent of change, once he is revealed to them (and clearly many have fallen away by now), all that remains of Drumpf and his GOP is a niche hate group with no real prospects and no serious funding. The RNC will cut him off to salvage down-ticket candidates, and his “empire” will be subscriber-based. And when his “media movement” can’t deliver anything to the hateful and fearful but more hate and more fear (and no jobs)? The Drumpf U grads were merely ripped off; they weren’t groomed to be an angry, violent mob. No, THESE unsatisfied customers won’t take him to court.

So, when Drumpf talks about how bad people have it, we know who he’s really talking about.