Donald Trump is a middle-aged comedian. With nothing to lose.

Donald Trump is a middle-aged comedian. With nothing to lose.

Donald Drumpf is NOT a middle-aged comedian, of course. A middle-aged comedian is worthy of respect. I’m merely projecting my own traits onto him. The point is, I’ve noticed that if you want to know who Donald Drumpf IS, all you have to do is look at the traits he projects onto others. It’s a fun little game, and it gets better each day. For example, Donald Drumpf is: crooked mentally ill a liar thinks of African-Americans only as votes, not people unfair weak a disaster he worst thing that’s ever happened to America dangerous… But there’s more. As Drumpf has “evolved” this past week – from obnoxious extemporaneous orator to obnoxious TelePrompTer reader – he’s added another level of insult to injury. “Addressing” African-Americans, Drumpf paints a bleak picture: they’re broke, jobless, homeless, uneducated and living in squalor, in a war zone. As such, “Take a chance on Drumpf!” he bellows in desperation. “What the hell have you got to lose???” Let’s zipline past the laughable, amateur-hour authoritarianism, and the fact that he always sells despair and fear (in fact, his new slogan shouldn’t be the alt-right ‘America First’; it should be ‘Fear Uber Alles’). The (raw) meat here is that, as usual, Drumpf is talking about himself. “What?!?”, you ask incredulously? “Hersh, now you’re pushing it! Drumpf is a billionaire!” Oh, really. You know who’s a billionaire? Mark Cuban, Bill Gates, Michael Bloomberg, Steven Spielberg. Can Drumpf hang with these dudes? In fact, another fun game to play is to see if Drumpf actually has ANY friends who are billionaires. Sheldon Adelson – the notorious Republican kingmaker...
It doesn’t have to end in a bunker: an open letter to Melania Trump

It doesn’t have to end in a bunker: an open letter to Melania Trump

Dear Melania: In the madness of this unusual campaign season, too much time has been spent comparing your mate, Donald Drumpf, to Adolf Hitler, and far too little time dedicated to the parallels between you and Eva Braun. Let me explain: I’m in no way seeking to vilify you, Mrs. Drumpf. Quite the contrary, I’m hopeful that we can save your life. In fact, I should acknowledge that you two women are really more different then you are alike: Eva was born in Germany; you, Melania, were born miles away in Yugoslavia When Eva met Adolf, she was 23 years his junior, and was working as a model – yet there are 24 years difference between you and The Donald (although, as this election cycle has shown us…what a difference a year makes!) While both of your husbands have a spotty record in terms of their treatment of women, to date only one of these lucky fellas has actually murdered millions of them. What you ladies have in common are the worrisome trajectories of your beaus. Let’s set aside the violence taking place at Donald’s live shows – the NC Sheriff’s Department has already cleared him on those possible incitement charges, and as hubby himself has explained, the clashes are part of the entertainment. You don’t see Civil War reenact-ors suing the Gettysburg Foundation over the occasional bayonet prick! Too soon? Anyway, the problem isn’t the women-bashing, racist, xenophobic rhetoric, or – on the other side – the hurt feelings of people who just can’t take a joke (they should learn from Donald, by the way, who doesn’t even remember being called a short-fingered vulgarian in Spy magazine more than 25 years ago. That’s how thick his skin is.). The...